Dear Keiko
by MB Otaku
Summary: Yusuke writes a letter to Keiko that should never, in a thousand eons have been written, much less sent.


Title: Dear Keiko

Disclaimer/Summary: Yusuke writes a letter to Keiko that should never, in a thousand eons have been written, much less sent.

I'm not Keiko-bashing or anything like that…well kind of. It's just that I've had three bowls of cereal, a cup of orange crème yogurt and I'm trying to work through writer's block on my other story. These are the reasons I'm not going into medicine: I don't deal well with The Stress. So please read and review.

I own nothing except a head of _very_ thick hair and an irritated and sensitive scalp.

**Dear Keiko,**

Fuck you.

Now don't misunderstand when I say this. I am quite fond of you, you know with me loving you and all that jazz but _there are times_, times when, if Genkai hadn't beaten superb amounts of control into me all of Spirit World would be on my ass.

Now before you start being snippy and supercilious (yeah big word. I was in school that day), saying this is just 'usual Yusuke' going on about some nonsense or another, naw bitch. This is serious and foxy suggested getting all my _feelings_ out on paper before I went to you, so here it is.

I love you. I _love_ you. I love _you_, okay? _You_. Not the pornstars you caught me masturbating to that one time. Or that other time in parents downstairs bathroom. Or that video I was trying to sell that other one time, but fuck it, I digress. Just because I was using what you called 'unnecessary smutty visual aids' does not mean I find you unattractive. In fact, if I couldn't stand the sight of you, I'd have slapped you a little harder when the arena was collapsing around us on Hanging Neck Island; geez you're hard to wake when you're down. Granted you've filled out a hell of a lot more since you've been in high school. If you'd just let me see where those long legs of yours led, I wouldn't need the fucking videos. (Kurama said to take that part out as it was insensitive, but I don't give a fuck; I'm not scared of you.).

Secondly, I am _not_ paying more attention to video games and the ramen stand than I do to you. I _do not_ have more fun touching myself, beating up Kuwabara or tending to the ramen stand than I do hanging out with you. Now I can understand how it might look like that, but believe it or not I actually enjoy spending time with you. Honest. Swear on my life; alright that might not be worth shit seeing as how I keep putting said life in danger and dying and all that but it hasn't happened recently so I think you can take my word on good faith. Now if you tell anyone I've said any of the following, I'll deny it before King Enma himself:

I don't need anybody else but you. You've always been my reason for fighting; well Kuwabara and the rest of the guys and Genkai and my mom and the rest of Japan and the three worlds but this letter is addressed to you so never mind them. Those big brown eyes of yours that always burn with immitigable fury (Kurama's phrase) as your palm speeds towards my face (you know I can't feel much in my cheeks now right? It helps during fights, but still…) are like home to me. So when you see my eyes glaze over while you're talking, it's not because I'm bored or tired of hearing you speak or wish I was somewhere else………alright that one White Day is an exception. How was I supposed to know the world clash of wrestling titans would fall on that day? Although it could've worked in your favour, I mean I had two tickets. But forgive me for again I find myself meandering from the topic at hand……you can see where Kurama edited right? Right, so when my eyes glaze over sometimes when I'm with you, it's because I can't help thinking how lucky I am that you waited for me all those years.

So relax, calm down a little. Because we both know I'm not going anywhere. In any case, who else but you could handle a former delinquent, retired Spirit World Detective and all-around badass? And we both know there're few people in _any _race that can withstand that slap you're sporting.

So yours truly, 'cuz we know I sure as shit ain't sincere,

Yusuke Urameshi.

P.S.

That video was Kuwabara's; you owe him an apology. I can save you the trouble if you just give _me_ the video. I'll pass it on eventually…

_________________________

End……well duh.

So please leave a review. And if you like this check out my other story called THE THEORY. Lots of nonsensical fun galore.


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